Friday, May 06, 2005

When things go bad

I always know when something is a little off when...

...I'm sitting on the subway reminding myself to calm down, relax, breath through my anxieties and I hear the person next to me say, "Who - me?". Fuck, was I really saying that out loud?

...I have a fitfull night of rest and dream that I am sitting in class, fall off my chair, and actually squat down and poop - right there, on the floor as my professor is giving a lecture on ethics. The rest of the dream, I spend blaming the poo on Kevin, a class mate of mine who everyone easily believes has done it - and probably would have even if I didn't point my finger at him.

...I feel as if making this dream public is okay and won't damage the glorious image of grace and poise I try so hard to maintain.

...I'm making enemies of friends. There are just too many unanswered phone calls and emails in my inbox. This has been especially hard because I really value being there for my friends - and being present in their lives even when I'm barely living in mine.

...I want to run around all of New York screaming, "WE HAVE TEETH!" just because my nephew has suddenly sprouted two teeth. But come now, look at this precious little guy. He's so proud of himself - as he should be.
cute head
He's the reason I haven't found a bridge to jump off of yet. That and I have this little secret: despite all the exams, papers, research, etc...I love what I'm doing.

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello Ms. Beccup! I thought I'd take a stab at analyzing your dream for you. According to Freud, feces represent pride and/or money, and thinking about it within the context of meeting your new client, perhaps you wanted to come across as competent, but felt unready so you symbolically pass the 'poo' to someone else. What are your thoughts?

Here's another hypothesis. Perhaps the content of your dream is mostly just reflective of day residue being that Kevin, more often than not, is so full of it. Your thoughts?

5:14 PM  
Blogger alleycat said...

Who wrote this??? It feels a bit Jude-esque but I'm not so sure. I do know this is better than discussion board!

5:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jude is full of it too, and kind of odd actually, but so damn sexy.

6:08 PM  
Anonymous grace kim said...

hey funny girl...
i am finally leaving a comment on your blog. did you know that poop dreams are good luck? the more you have, the luckier you are!! people even sell their poop dreams. next time you dream of crap, call me or buy a lotto ticket.

love ya,
gracie k.

6:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol. gracekim, your comment is hilarious and absolutely ridiculous - SO gracekim! hehehehe. beck, i think you're having poop dreams 'cause your body wants to poop but because you're sleeping and unresponsive to your body's particular longing, your body is trying to speak to you through your dreams.

gha

11:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i once dreamed I pooped my bed...only it wasn't a dream. oooh the evils of whiskey.

just found your blog today and you made me laugh. many times.

yours,

the pooping giggler.

12:02 PM  

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