Saturday, June 04, 2005

on keeping your bottom clean

This morning, my mother gave me a lecture on proper ass wiping. She walked in to tell me something as I was having a 'private-becky moment' on the toilet and was horrified by my techniques. Her eyes were wide as she said, "You look like you are one years! Let mommy show you." And she proceeded to show me. I really felt like I was "one years" at that moment. I laughed so hard tears began to come out. I use small amounts of toilet paper frequently. My mother is a firm believer in a lot of toilet paper that can be used twice when folded. She said, "That way - only wiping two or three times!"

Here's a side note to walk away with. Korean immigrant families - like many other Asian immigrant families I imagine - simply don't believe in having private space. Boundaries are drawn about an inch around body. They like to get in real close. Growing up, it used to be a real pain - aunts coming over and barging into your room asking for favors at 6 in the morning or your mother yelling at you if ever you locked the door. Now, I don't mind it so much. Maybe it's because I'm older and don't see my family with the same frequency or maybe I just appreciate any tips I can get on keeping my little bottom clean.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's F**ked up! And you wonder why the weirdos are here posting comments...

P-

8:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

beck, i am absolutely horrified at your technique, too, dude! EW! if you use several small bunches of toliet paper, doesn't poop seep through onto your hands? good thing your mama's invaded your space!

i love vous!
gha

4:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't believe my innocent little eyes are being subjected to these words!

P-

9:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

too much information!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10:28 PM  

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