Monday, August 22, 2005

marks of change

Hammee leaves for Korea on Tuesday. She will be gone for three years but will probably come home once or twice between then. I met Hammee on a bus in 8th grade. It’s been thirteen years. And as I watched her last night at our little farewell dinner, it amazes me to think that this chick once got suspended from school for calling our 9th grade English teacher a bitch. Now she’s running after her two year old making sure that everything he touches stays intact and moving to Korea to help follow her husband’s dreams of becoming a film director. Real obligations. The funny thing was – saying goodbye to her felt so normal, like she’ll always be there when I come home. Even though I know in my head she won’t be, my silly little heart just doesn’t want to admit it.

And I’m meeting up with Leah tonight who is already back from her archaeological dig in Turkey. She’s in New York for a week before she moves to Michigan for school. She called gushing about a man she met – and I mean a real man, 30 years older. She giggled about a possible future complete with wedding and kids. All very nice I suppose. Last week, I had lunch with my sister and wondered whether I really want to have kids anymore.

Friday, Marsha’s grandmother died. She was 94.

School starts in a week and this time, there will be more responsibilities for me. I’ve already been working directly with clients and providing information that could very well be ‘life changing’ for some. I’m not sure when my opinion became worth the 600 dollars some people pay for it. But I’m hoping in the future, others will be willing to pay more since my school loans keep building as well.

These are all the subtle markers of change I woke up thinking about. And I’m feeling a bit blue about it because I wish I could just hold on to the past forever. And though I would never want to go back in time, sometimes being an adult just sucks.

But then again, when you go out with a boy and you’re mother calls and leaves 15 voicemail messages demanding where you are and you have to lie for fear of being “grounded”, then you wonder how much change time brings. My sister laughs and says 26 in Korean years is really 12. All my Korean friends agree.

9 Comments:

Anonymous gha said...

my mom just called me tonight and told me exactly what i ought to eat for my next few meals. maddening. at the same time, i know i'd miss it if it were to, for some reason, stop. nevertheless, totally know what you mean. my mom totally works with that korean-mom age retardation thing.

4:06 AM  
Blogger Jim Buggz said...

Hey, lil miss kickass, do u know how to get rid of spam posts? I can't figure out how to delete the post of some dude selling timber on my blog. Sure its fun to say, "Check out my blog, I've got Wood!"
but if you can help me, please let me know :)
Even if its just a way to delete someone else's post, I'd appreciate it, thx again

1:04 PM  
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1:37 PM  
Blogger Mel Slabaugh said...

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2:01 PM  
Blogger Jim Buggz said...

OMG!!! I AM SO SO SORRY if somehow these spammers followed me here! Damn those shameless, soliciting bastards!

3:00 PM  

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