Tuesday, September 27, 2005

on colds and friendship

Mr. Scientist wants to be friends. And truthfully, I am grateful for the gesture. It makes the hurt a little less and our fling feel more meaningful. But it’s something I have to consider a while longer. I’m not in the habit of maintaining friends with guys I’ve dated. It just feels too weird – too many left over emotions just hanging around.

But I have to ask, why friendship? I just don’t get it. The last guy I dated was the same way after we broke up. In some ways, he fought me tooth and nail for my friendship and now, we’re actually good friends. But why does it hurt more when I withhold my friendship than the actual breakup? It’s so strange to me.

In truth, Mr Scientist and I only dated for a couple months and I doubt any strong emotional ties really formed. In this way, I think friendship is a possibility. But for now, while I still harbor a bit of anger and hurt, I wait. The worst is repeated history because while the first time is an experience, the second and third become more painful mistakes. I just don’t want any left over emotions getting in the way of a real friendship - if that is a true possibility.

So that’s my answer. Like all things, we wait and see. I will admit though, it was nice chatting with him in our limited ways of communication yesterday. He does have a way of making me laugh.

But now on to my complaints. I’m getting sick. Sore throat. Hot and cold chills. Headache. Achy joints and muscles. Okay. Maybe I am sick and getting worse. I’m sitting here at school debating whether I should go home and ditch my last five hours of classes and cancel my 6:30 appointment. I just want to crawl into bed with some hot soup and rent sappy movies…


Anonymous susan said...

oh they all want to "still be friends"... to leave open the possibility of a booty call and to get your support. Guys are lame sometimes. Dump the bum properly and protect yourself.

2:07 PM  
Blogger lewisgribbel5702 said...

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5:39 PM  
Anonymous gracie said...

hey...make sure you take care of yourself, girl!!! those late summer colds are a b*tch!

6:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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9:49 PM  
Anonymous gha said...

Personally, I never want to "remain friends" with the person I just broke up with. If he breaks up with ME, then I'll want to be friends 'cause I'm still not over him!


12:03 PM  
Blogger Jim Buggz said...

Is it at all possible that you are just too cool, interesting, beautiful and intelligent to just let you fade away into the past?
I think you are the major contributing factor here, and not just the possibility of future b/c's. But, hey, thats just my opinion.

6:40 PM  

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