Monday, September 19, 2005

random meetings with the X

Yesterday, I ran into Tomur. I was about to jump on the subway when he came up to me with a sort of awkward greeting – as if he was not really sure if he should say hello but almost compelled to since it’s really been years and years. Tomur was the guy I’d like to believe every girl had in her past. The one that broke your heart, the one every part of you knew you shouldn’t be dating but did anyway, the one that you either look back on with complete regret or in amusement as you think about how ‘silly’ and ‘young’ you were.

It’s funny. There was a time when I envisioned this chance encounter, maybe almost hoped for it. In it, I would look absolutely gorgeous and my life would be in perfect order. All this, I would throw into his face. And time would just slow down for him as he thought about what a giant ass he had been for hurting me. Needless to say, it didn’t happen that way. Instead, I met him un-showered, having spent an entire day walking around New York’s hot city and my life – well in perfect disarray. And in the subway ride from midtown to the upper west side, we chatted about the past six years. And when my stop came, I smiled, said a quick goodbye, jumped out of the train, and it was over. It’s funny how many transformations your heart can take. In the end, he was just a fun story to tell a friend that started with a – hey you’ll never guess who I just ran into...

Since then, there have been other men, other chance encounters and so forth. With every dating experience you hope that it becomes like this one - something you learn from and grow past. It would have sucked to have met Tomur and to realize that life hadn't really changed all that much for me or that the same dysfunctions I was dealing with then permeated my life today. I'd like to think that my dysfunctions are more developed today.


Anonymous gha said...

i remember tomur! mostly remember what a weird name he had and the fact he had glasses.

it's crazy that you bumped into him on the subway in NY of all places.

2:50 PM  
Anonymous gina said...

hmmm....tomur, i seem to remember hearing about him. would i have heard about him? was he that far back in the day for me to have heard about him?
anywhoo, love reading your blog. feels like stalking, but it's legal. miss ya! one day we'll have our own reunion and i won't care if you look city-weary:)

5:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol! candace bushnell, move over...

7:12 PM  

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