Tuesday, October 18, 2005

the men you meet in the big apple

A couple nights ago, I met a guy, an investment banker working in mid-town who happens to live two blocks down from me. 32, born on April 10 in Detroit Michigan, from a rather large family with over fifty first cousins – two of whom were pregnant by age 19. Funny, sweet, kind of dorky, and apparently really good at giving toasts at weddings. Not your stereotypical high-powered investment banker though you could tell underneath all the nervous jokes was a bit of that guy there. Numbers were exchanged and soon after I got a very sweet little invitation from him for dinner sometime this week….But I think I might just let this one pass. He wasn’t my “type”. It’s funny that for someone who truly doesn’t seem to have A type, I certainly seem to know who isn’t. Although I guess I always start out this way with almost every guy I’ve ever dated. I begin with all the negatives, setting my standards way too high and eventually working my way down. It must be some weird twisted sort of defense mechanism that doesn’t seem to be defending me from the relationships I should be staying clear of.

Anyway, last night, I met Noel at a café down the street from my apartment. One look and you could tell that we came from different worlds. He in his hip-hop gear and me in my non-hip hop wear. On any given day this past week, I was probably buried in report writing and research while he was out promoting shows and making his own versions of rap artist documentaries. He sat down very casually and starting making conversation freely. I felt self-conscience, too aware of our differences. I’ve noticed that the older I’ve gotten and the deeper I get into academia, the more out of place I feel with people…well not like me sadly enough. I think it would be missing the point to chalk it up to snootiness though from an outsider’s point of view, especially from someone who didn’t know me, I guess I can see it. Pretty soon it became evident that Noel was the smartest, least educated person I knew and I was probably the dumbest, most educated person he knew. He never went to high school but was well read on all areas ranging from Freud’s biography to carbon dating in Archaeology. When he found out I was Korean, his eyes lit up and told me about the nine movies he went to see at the Korean film festival last month. He raved about the up and coming Korean movie industry and asked my opinion of the various directors. I pretended to lose something on the floor. He’s 27, German, and recently moved here six months ago to “get things going”. He’s put together shows with artists featuring Jay Z, 50 cent (I’m so embarrassed to ask this – but do you spell out this guy’s name like this?), Ludicrous and a bunch of others I of course have never heard of. Naturally, I had to mention my run in with Foxy Brown but he didn’t seem all that impressed. I think he mumbled something like, “Yeah, she’s bitchy. Too young for so much money and fame.” I felt like I was in some movie where the two most unlikely characters are paired together for laughs. In the end, he asked if we could kick it sometime this weekend. I don’t know – what do you think ladies - too different?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Definitely have dinner with both guys. See different worlds. Make new friends. Just don't lead them on.

I always think one dinner is polite. Two is where it gets complicated.

Obviously, this is your sister talking. Have fun most of all!

8:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sounds like you're managing to have fun despite your crazy schedule as a doctoral student.
a friend of mine is convinced that opposites attract and can even sometimes make it work.
the cafe guy sounds great.
i say try for a date or so.
miss you.
let's get together for a drink soon!


12:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And to think - you know more about these guys than the the Korean dude you're going to be married of to in six months - crazy!

8:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

woops - off

8:48 PM  
Anonymous gracie said...

hey... i know that you said you had too many friends and aren't looking for new friends... BUT, i think that these guys should fall within your "friend" category. sometimes different is good... but, too different might not be.

8:50 PM  
Blogger Grace said...

becky dude why are you so hot that you have choices as many as you do! =)

i wish you weren't so busy so i can steal you away for some bad coffee here in chicago!

then we have to talk about a certain crazy girl's latest wedding planning antics - like how she picked her dress, ahem...=)

4:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Becky, please have dinner with Noel b/c I really loved Jay-Z for a long time and then came Ludacris whose CDs I miss very much. Noel sounds like my college dream date!

11:55 AM  
Anonymous LEL said...

Hi Becks, its me catching up on your blog. Noel Sounds all kinds of fun. My approval is probably too late, thinking about the fast past of NY life, but I think you should go out..again... or not... Call me!

12:54 PM  

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