Sunday, November 20, 2005

a dream weaver's mind games

When Grace gets stressed, she has nightmares. She calls, "I had a dream that a monkey was chasing me naked through the jungle! What does it mean?!?!" And I always reply with a laugh, "You're stressed." I gave up twenty billion nightmares ago trying to intrepret them for her. On the other hand, I don't often remember my dreams. Especially lately. But I've figured that one out. I have to actually sleep in order to have dreams. And sleep has not come so easily for me. But when I do dream, I have these vivid dreams that always freak people out. The next time you see me, remind me to tell you about the dream I had about my mother and her talking face.

So, I had three dreams last night and here they are in chronological order, but first a little pre-note. Sometimes I play a character in my dreams, which are scripted. I know I'm not really this character but feel everything that happens to her (sometimes him) and I know what I'm supposed to do and what is going to happen. And no matter how horrible the ending, I never fight it. I just follow exactly what I'm supposed to do. I'm afraid but strangely ambivalent at the same time. And this is where the first dream begins.

I'm a Latino transvestite running through this school, which is built like a warehouse. There are a few other students running around as well and we're all looking for a hiding place because this gang has come in making violent threats. I know they're here to kill some older, white man and that I'm supposed to witness it. I come to an empty room with four bare, white walls. And against one wall is a single cabinet, which I run into. The second I close the door, the gang comes in dragging the older, white man they're here to kill. They sit him down and taunt him, occassionally hitting him in the face. Then the leader of the gang bends over and bites him in the neck, ripping out his flesh. And as he's bleeding, they open the cabinet and throw him on top of me. After a little while, they open the door to make sure he's dead and instead of the man, they find me. But they don't realize it's me because I'm covered in the older, white man's blood. I stare at them as they start laughing and poking me to make sure that I'm dead. After they leave, I run to the bathroom and wash up. There I make a friend with a blond girl.

Cut to dream number 2 where I'm on a bus heading home from a church retreat, staring off into a field. I'm in highschool at the time. I notice a cheetah and gasp. A cheetah! Then comes a big black bear and they start to fight. Cheetah and Bear fighting. Out jumps a lion and the three start rolling around gnarling at each other, and snapping big scary teeth. The next thing I know, they stumble onto a child's playground filled with people. And right there, man, child, cheetah, bear, and lion fall into a big giant mess of fighting. I scream and call my pastor, who merely shrugs his shoulders.

And the only thing I can say about dream number 3 - well, x-rated material should be kept off this blog.

So what does it mean...what does it mean??? I wonder if it has anything to do with the phone call I received at 2:17 am from Eric calling me because "I just have to go dancing. I just have to!" or from Courtney and Lara who called thirty minutes later screeching into the phone, "Wake up - come out!" I believe my exact words were, "I'm hanging up now. I will call you both in the morning." Who the hell knows.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's what you get for having a phone! ha-ha

5:19 PM  
Anonymous gracie said...

umm.. why are your dreams so freaky scary!?? at least mine aren't THAT violent.. kikiki. i think that your dreams mean you're stressed! j/k. call me!

1:18 PM  

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