Thursday, January 05, 2006

bye bye bellybutton blues

Did I forget to mention that after seven years, my mother finally found my belly button ring? This also included the time she jumped in the shower with me last summer while away in the Hamptoms. Koreans. No sense of boundaries.

It was a few weeks ago, during my nephews Dol. Jenn kept telling me to be careful because my sweater didn't quite cover myself so well, but I shrugged her warnings off. And right there, amongst all her guests and celebrations my mother gets all big eyed, stares at my little ring and says, "daughter, what have you done?" Nervously, I laugh and say, "Well - Raul needs a ride back home. Gotta go!" When I got home, I declared to my sister, "I'm 27. I'm not going to let mom get all crazy on me just because she thinks the devil's got a hold of my soul through this damn thing." Of course, I make these declarations as I rapidly yank out the ring. And for all of you secretly judging my wusiness. I would have told her about it earlier except that when I asked to get a second ear piercing in high school, she screamed, "If you get a piercing there, you will get one everywhere and your spirit will leave your body!" Honestly, how do you argue that?

Anyway, she was strangely mum for a few days. I expected a major blowout and when none came, I expected the worst when I got back to New York. So far though, we've only had one phone conversation that went something like this:

"When did you get it?"

"A few years ago."

"A FEW YEARS! You were my number one, bestest, most spiritual daughter. Mommy is so disappoint!"

"Mom, I'm so sorry but it's not a big deal. I bet half the girls in your church have one!"

"It is a big deal. YOU MIGHT AS WELL BE GAY! It is the way to becoming lesbian. How many earing you have? Do you have tattoos? I will never look at your sister's tattoo. Mommy is so disappoint! You better pray hard. Hang up right now and pray to God." Click.

Actually, over the holidays, I made a joke about marrying my bellybutton. She got pissed and yelled, "Cancel!" I laughed and said - ok, ok, I married Jesus.

oh momsarama.

3 Comments:

Anonymous gracie k. said...

beck... you're mom is hilarious!!! where does she come up with these things??!?

7:04 PM  
Blogger Grace said...

lol. the other grace.

6:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

becky ...
my bellybutton feels for your bellybutton.
your mom really is so funny though.

-esther

9:44 AM  

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